Fearing embarrassing questions about why there's no winter at the winter Olympics, Stephen Harper prorogued the planet today. The Canadian public reacted with predictable outrage, with several thousand people unfriending the Prime Minister on Facebook, wiping out all the gains he made by singing the Beatles.
"We needed the time to recalibrate," said the Prime Minister, "And by that I mean approving a bunch more tar sands projects while I distract everyone by saying our emissions targets are just like the Americans."
The opposition parties reacted by promising to show up on the planet anyway so that they could keep fighting with each other about the best way to save it. "We refuse to accept that Harper can unilaterally suspend his divide and conquer campaign against us," said an opposition spokesperson, "So we'll show up at work as usual, at each other's throats until the planet is cooked permanently."
As imagined by:
Matt Price
Policy Director
Environmental Defence
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